I suppose I've been so fixated on my daughter that I have neglected to talk about all of the other things going on in my life. I don't know what I've done to be punished so badly by karma, but man it must have been something horrible.
I have had a re-occurring staph infection in my left breast for the last 5 years. It started with a breast implant that got infected and had to be removed. No one knows how or why but this infection comes back every 4 - 6 months and ranges from just being a hard, painful knot, to my breast swelling to the size of a football, being bright red and hot, and fever consuming me to the point of delusion. I've been hospitalized 3 times over these infections and at one point had to have a pic line inserted into my heart and give myself IV antibiotics for 10 days.
After years if antibiotics, series of test by an infectious disease doctor and uncountable mammograms, xrays and sonograms, my doctor has decided it's time to just do a total mastectomy. I'm both sad and excited at this prospect. I would be so happy to be infection free, but the dark shadow over me keeps saying "what if it doesn't solve the problem? What if you go through this and STILL have infection or you die during surgery?"
I will have it done. Good or bad, I am sick of being sick.
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